went town today after sch to study with jac haha... din really get much done i think cos we were talking alot!! haha and there were irritants arnd hu were talking really irritatingly haha... oh wells. and annoying announcement pple! grr. but was great to talk to her again! tho we like last saw each other on sat only haha.

i hope that you remeber what we talked abt and i really meant every word that i said. you dont have to believe it but its true and i hope that you do believe it. hiding is not going to help you overcome your fears. i really dunno how else to help u but i will be praying. hard.

anyway, i read an interesting blog entry today. i guess that yah it is natural to want to get married, after all God made man and woman such that they can reproduce right?but its just tt He also made some pple to not get married and somehow i dunno i really pray that i am such a person.its not like i was burned and thus am bitter and stuff but just tt i see my life now and the life i had then and i guess i prefer now. i dont think i have the attention span lah frankly and i know that sounds really shallow of me and stuff but well.and also i guess i will always put other things above the other person and stuff. im not saying tt pple shld not get married and stuff cos if tt happens den the world is going to have some big troubles but i guess to me i dun really need or want someone to take up so much of my life. and maybe tts y i get resentful when my frens get attached and stuff... cos i dunno i guess i dun see why anyone would rather be attached than not haha... cos to me being not attached is a much more preferable state. of cos tt is only me lah so yah. im wierd haha wadeva :p. and i know i was attached b4 and stuff and while i was i did expend alot of energy and time and yah there were many joys and memories but somehow i think if i had the choice to go back i wouldnt because while there was someone always there for me and stuff, there were so many more demands and unspoken rules that i had to adhere to and like my life wasnt mine anymore. and i know tt is part and parcel of marraige and like one of the places where pple gain things frm living tgt and stuff but seriously i think i could do without it haha... maybe God does have someone for me and if He does i will not protest, but i dunno. i hope that its not. and as for when all my frens get married and im alone, i guess i will never really be alone cos i have my God with me always and anyway the work i intend to do will keep me occupied and ill have pple to minister to and i feel that is so muchmore rewarding then marraige. but like i said, this applies only to me and i know that most pple will not agree with this but you are not me haha so u wun noe will u? anyway i think tt im more in love with the idea of love rather than love itself haha... as in. like when i read love stories i will think wow it will be so nice if tt happens but then i wun like dream of it happening u noe wad i mean? like ill just feel warm and fuzzy but like i know its all a facade and tt a relationship is not just romance and stuff so yah. i like romance tho haha.., i wun mind having the romance without the relationship but hey tts everyones dream rite haha so i rather just have a romance with Jesus cos He will nv fail me :)

im still sick. how sad haha. and i wanna watch so many shows but NOT THE VILLAGE. the guys keep saying watch on fri. like pls. i will freak out and die ok. i cant stand this kind lor. boo me i already scream like mad...wads more a scary show!!i wanna watch brotherhood tho haha... marcus (foo) keeps telling me how nice it is. boo.i hate prelims and a's and mugging haha... i got my report today and wow! my d for bio got moderated to C so now i have CEOO haha... not so bad lah :p i deserved it...

scary man of the century:mr cook